50 Insane And Outrageous Stories That Have Happened To Real People From The Internet

Listen, strange things have happened to united states of america all, but have y'all documented it online yet? Here are l Redditors that accept shared their memories of some ridiculous and outrageous stories that they experienced. Of course, if you want to read it on Reddit, the link is provided, and so you don't take to go through this ;)

1. clanspanker

As a human being that has reached the ripe old age of 48, I can promise you I have seen some shit get down. This one totally takes the block for me though.

I was waiting out front end of a truck stop dorsum in the mid 80s. Sitting on a park bench with a guy that had a large Rottweiler kinda domestic dog on a leash with him. I tried to make small talk but he was quite a sourpuss. So we sat in silence for a few minutes until the most unexpected thing I have ever seen, happened right earlier my very eyes.

While nosotros were sitting there a big 18 wheeler pulls in without a trailer (bobtail) so he parks correct up front end similar a normal car would. Inside the cab of the truck with the driver is a little monkey. The dance for the organ grinder kind. I call up they are called Rhesus monkeys perhaps. Well the domestic dog spots this lil monkey and proceeds to go apeshit over it. Lunging at the finish of his leash and barking at the top of his lungs. Generally making a real spectacle of himself to say the least.

The driver is obviously upset, but not nearly equally much as the monkey is. Really upset may be the wrong adjective to utilize for the monkey though. In retrospect I retrieve eagerly aggressive may be a more appropriate description for his disposition. He was pacing the dashboard back and forth. Never taking his eyes off of this very aggravated dog.

The driver opens his piffling triangle window that they don't brand on cars anymore. The ones made for smokers back in the day. He yells out to this douchebag to call his dog off because information technology is upsetting his monkey. The guy laughs and says no style (I told you he was a jerk didn't I?). Says that his domestic dog own't bothering nobody. The dog hasn't shut upward since he laid eyes on the monkey. I promise you he is bothering everybody for several blocks effectually.

Now here'south where things start to get interesting. The driver says that if he doesn't call his dog off he's gonna allow his monkey loose on that dog. Douchebag laughs and says that his dog would eat that monkey alive. Upon hearing this the driver leans over and reaches into his glove box I judge. Pulls out 1 of those tiny baseball bats like you used to get at Astroworld or carnivals, and places it in the monkey's manus.

The monkey manifestly knows what'south about to go downwardly considering he is now trying to clasp out of that fiddling triangular window I mentioned before. This monkey has murder in his eyes if I take e'er seen information technology. Driver hollers, "Concluding chance to save your dog's ass man." In response douchebag lets his dog off of the leash. At present we have a situation that has escalated to the point where we have a dog jumping up at the window and a monkey screaming profanities right back at him. Well, the driver finally rolls down the regular window and out leaps all kinds of miniature primate hell. The dog never knew what hit him. Quick every bit a flash, this monkey is riding on the dorsum of this dog'southward neck. His two back anxiety all wrapped up in his neck fur with one paw hanging onto an ear. The other hand as you may have guessed by now is steadily and mercilessly raining down blows virtually this dog'southward caput and confront. I mean hard blows. Yous tin can hear them whap whap whap.

Well, it only took a moment for the dog to realize he was in style over his head. He bolts yelping bloody murder as he runs away at full speed. I mean this dog is running so fuckin hard he's throwing upwards tufts of grass and dirt equally soon every bit he leaves pavement. The monkey still riding him and beating on him the whole time. Douchebag acts like he wants to fight at present simply several people including myself stepped in to finish that nonsense. In a couple of minutes or so the little monkey comes loping dorsum with his little bat still in hand, and leaps upwards into the still open up window of the truck to await his master who has gone on into the store.

That wanker ran off to try to go find his canis familiaris, but I don't know if he ever did. My ride showed up and I had to become. Never once again in this lifetime will I run across something so totally crazy and unexpected like that. I am both fortunate and apprehensive to have been so privileged to be nowadays for such an issue.

2. a89aries

Was having a new exhaust put onto my Subaru by a small specialty shop in Buffalo, NY.

We dropped it off and and then said we would just go walk effectually for a couple hours till information technology was done. Staff advised us not too as it was a crude surface area…we were 19, and from Canada, what'due south the worst that could happen?

Later on walking through a couple blocks of burnt out houses, and directly out of the movies (for united states of america) ghetto, we decided to turn around and get dorsum to the shop ASAP!

We walk around a corner only to run into a grouping of 5 big, thug-ish looking young black men ahead of us, they notice us, turn and walk in our direction. Instant brick shitting…do we run…do we plead for our lives? Nosotros make up one's mind to do the Canadian matter and just keep walking like nothings going to happen. The "gang" reaches u.s. after a few seconds, kind of does a half circle around the 2 of us, there is no escape, but robbery or death.

What appears to be the leader makes contact "Yo, we got a question for you guys!"

Nosotros sheepishly answer"uhhh yea?"

"Whats the plural course of Penis? Penises?"

"uhhh…I remember and so."

One of the other gang members blurts out "see I told you human being!" equally they all kind of laugh and thank united states, tell us to have a proficient day.

That is my simply see with american street youth.

three. cadaverbonnet

And so I was loitering with a couple friends in a petty village-style outdoor mall that'due south pretty popular in my city. Without alert, a massive group of people turned the corner onto the street and started walking down information technology together at a brisk pace. Not a wink mob, no i'south shirtless, just a group of what had to be 3 or four hundred people all walking together, and as they're walking the ones on the fringes of the railroad train are calling out to passersby to join in. There'due south no indication of where the group is going or why, and no one is explaining themselves or holding signs or anything.

We're most the end of the street, watching more and more than people latch onto the group out of sheer curiosity as information technology moves en masse towards u.s.a., and I said, "Fuck it, let's become." And so we tacked on to the side of the railroad train and followed it for x minutes or so into the heart of the mall, where there's a small park with a sculpture garden and a fountain. By that bespeak there were way too many people to come up close to plumbing fixtures in the park. I would gauge at least a goddamn 1000 packed together.

The guy who was leading the parade approached this young woman who was sitting on ane of the benches there, who was looking pretty bewildered at beingness surrounded by hundreds of strangers. Another young guy who was with him, sort of a ringleader type, turned to face "us" as a group and started to shout-sing "Lean On Me." With no idea what was going on, the rest of the group joined in until in that location were enough people to fill an auditorium all singing Lean On Me together to this complete stranger of a girl in the park. Nosotros got nearly a infinitesimal in (to the stop of the second chorus), earlier the guy's friend shushed u.s. by raising both hands, and anybody went dead silent.

And so the guy who was leading the parade got on one knee and proposed to the girl. She said aye. Everyone cheered and dispersed, more than or less.

It's i of my favorite memories, just considering of the sense of being part of something greater, for no reason except that nosotros were all human. With no idea where we were going or why, we still joined the parade of people and sang to this guy'south wife-to-be, because it was a good thing to do.

4. Decyde

A chick got arrested at a concert because she was blowing random guys. I don't think she was drunkard or on drugs but she would simply go up to a guy and unzip his pants and pretty much suck his dick and spit out the load. A few minutes afterward, she'd go upward to some other guy until 40 minutes later iii police officers came and arrested her afterward people were complaining.

5. Cr3amy_G00dness

This ane happened on the train at height hr nigh a year ago. There was a piffling girl and her male parent, they had just dropped her large sister off at schoolhouse and were heading back habitation. She was crying and screaming for her sister while her father was trying his all-time to panel her. All of a sudden, virtually four or so women in concern suits (obviously mothers with children) began rummaging around in their handbags and pulled out toys for the fiddling girl to keep her occupied. One adult female even had several books and she began reading them to the footling girl.

The little daughter continued to weep when an Irish woman a few seats away joined in to aid. She began singing a vocal and clapping. As she was singing a few people began humming along. She began singing louder and yelled "come on, everybody bring together in". The whole wagon joined in singing and clapping, which stopped the piddling girl from crying and she began laughing. It was amazing. I wish I could call up the song though :(

half dozen. Cuzimwhite

I worked at Check into Cash for a piddling while. I was running a field phone call. Thats where I go to the peoples house to collect the money when they were late or skipped out.

Anyways I went to the "projects". I turned a corner and the next affair I know this skinny black chick falls out of the window with no dress on. Shortly after that a Large black lady comes out with a toaster and throws it at the naked lady running abroad. A skinny white naked dude comes flying out of the business firm as well. The big blackness lady turns around and kicks the white dude in the nuts. Anybody went back inside. The lady I needed to see was straight above them. Laughing she says, "That happens ALL THE Fourth dimension."

seven. 4ppleseed

I was doing some window shopping on Upper Street in Islington, London nigh 4 years ago. Information technology was the center of summer & I was merely passing the time going from shop window to shop window. I'chiliad looking at some boots and my attention is grabbed by the reflection of a young, long haired blonde guy around 20 years old who suddenly looks physically stressed. I plow effectually and he's blocking the path of a old man. The erstwhile man is wearing some onetime fashioned hat and has a grayness beard & looking equally stressed well-nigh this kid not letting him pass.

I'g only about to tell the kid to stop being a dick and get out of the manner, two or 3 other people take now stopped around u.s. every bit information technology's a quite an odd looking scene but all of a sudden the kid finds his phonation, with tears in his eyes he says… "My name is Julian Catamenia, my parents are [something and something] Menses. Your proper name is [I can't remember what he said], my parents are Deaf and when I was a child, yous babysat both me and my sister. You lot sexually abused united states both for years and I never thought I would see your face up again. In that location is no mode in hell I am letting you pass me this time." The quondam homo insists the kid has the wrong guy. The small oversupply start to circle them both, some extra people have now joined after hearing the speech. I think some guy says to the erstwhile man, if you lot're not who he says you are, but evidence it – take out a credit card or something. The old man refuses. I start to walk away from the crowd as one of the passersby says, "Well, y'all're non going anywhere until the police turn up," and calmly holds the old guy by the arm.

8. stickflickpick

Saw a homeless man park his shopping cart between two parked cars on the side of the street. So he walked out into the middle of the 4 lane street and took a shit.

9. TrahitiTeat

Got out of a movie in down boondocks Parry Sound. All suddenly a snow brawl fight breaks out between the movie goers and the bar across the street. Had to be a proficient twenty to 30 people tossing snowballs beyond the street. People were using parked cars for comprehend and sneak attacks. People who weren't involved would get striking and bring together in. My girlfriend at the time was hiding in a store front door when some old man threw a snow ball right at her face. This went on for over a one-half hr. Even cars that were driving downwards the street were getting pelted from both sides. Hahaha information technology was the greatest random occurrence I've ever experienced.

10. 0-one-ane-ii-3-5-viii-thirteen-21

Was outside smoking at a huge university by myself at virtually 4am when I come across a deer running downward the center of the road. The noise of it running against the pavement was super bizarre.

Adjacent a pickup truck comes barreling subsequently it. The deer runs onto the campus lawns and the truck jumps the adjourn and follows it through the yards. I run after, gotta see what this is almost, and by the time I get to where the truck had somewhen stopped the deer was nowhere in sight. 4 guys were continuing outside the truck yelling at each other. I sort of duck behind this bush surface area and run into a guy who was ducking at that place, doing the same matter as me. We kinda looked at each other, shrugged, and kept watching.

These guys wait university historic period, yelling about guns, fighting, shooting each other. The guy in the bushes with me starts to make moves to get closer to the action, and the iv guys encounter him. They get-go to walk over, I'one thousand terrified, and they run into me. They are marching over, confident, like they are going to murder me, and one guy (HUGE black guy) comes correct up to me and picks me up. In a hug. And sort of just sways left to right with me in his arms proverb "We were simply kidding. We were simply kidding." He set me back down and the iv of them walk calmly back to their truck, and drive away.

I really have no caption for any of information technology.

11. kplis

I was driving out in the boonies and I saw a human being towing a late 80's Honda with another late 80's Honda. At present this wasn't such an odd thing to encounter in the surface area. If you couldn't afford the tow truck, you lot simply got a buddy, some rope and another car. Every bit long as you always braked carefully and slowly the guy behind could likewise restriction, and the bumpers would just touch a scrap. There would be some scratches, but nothing you couldn't live with.

This homo was doing this job solo though. Likewise not unheard of, but it just requires even more caution with braking. Brake slightly so the car behind you contacts the bumper, and so slowly apply the brakes fifty-fifty more than.

I'thousand not sure how long the man had been doing this for, but he was going virtually 45 mph, so he must have been pretty confident in his abilities. Notwithstanding, when the deer leaped out into the road, his reflexes took over and he slammed on the brakes, leaving the 2nd car to slam into his first car. He was fine and missed the deer, only both cars were totaled.

12. [deleted]

I treated a guy who got stabbed not in front of, but on the forepart steps of a police station. wtf. Dude couldn't look until the stabee was a little downwards the block?

13. shortyman09

I got mussed-up in class school for touching a kid's wheel. I had never touched anybody'south bike, and didn't know the kid.

It happened in a pretty public and crowded fourth dimension of day at the school, pregnant that it was at the end of the day when all the parents were picking up their kids after school. My mom watched information technology happen as she had pulled upwardly just as it was happening. She got out and chased the child off just every bit he was already finishing his bat-shit crazy tirade near how he thought I was going to steal his bike. This wasn't the crazy function. The crazy function was subsequently the kid ran off, he hopped on his bike and started riding away. Some other mom, I didn't know who she was because her kid wasn't in my course, saw the fight, and subsequently chased downward the child when he ran off. In forepart of tons of other moms, and maybe a couple of dads, and plenty of kids in the school, she tackled the kid downwards, picked him upward by the color of his shirt, and carried him into the school to confront the principle. Almost Badass mom I have ever known, and I never even got to learn her proper noun. So, if anyone knows of a woman who lived in Lawton, Oklahoma in the late '90s and had a kid who went to Roosevelt Uncomplicated, I want to thank her for what she did. The rest of that school twelvemonth was crawly, and I'm pretty certain she may have nipped a bullying lifestyle for someone in the bud. Cheers Badass Mom.

14. Calvinball05

One day my freshman year of college, I was walking back to my dorm from classes. Some guy in one of those light-green neon bodysuits goes sprinting past me. Alright, whatever.

Not thirty seconds later on, I cross paths with a daughter wearing typical scene/punkish clothing, fishnet stockings, plaid skirt, dark painted nails, etc. But she was likewise wearing a welder's mask with the visor down. Okay, things are a footling odd now.

Then, not fifteen seconds later on, some dude comes trigger-happy donkey in my direction on a wheel. Dude had some identify to be. Except he's riding no handlebars, considering he has a plate of sushi in one hand, and chopsticks in the other. He seemed to be quite in control of the situation, though, munching abroad while riding.

Any one of those in isolation wouldn't have been much to think, even two on one trip wouldn't have been that crazy, only all three in such a brusk period of time has always stuck with me.

15. arccentric

While I was in college a friend of mine threw a house-political party that ended upwards getting extremely packed. The house was adequately large, and the majority of the political party was dancing in the living room surface area (carpeted), which had the furniture cleared out to make room for the DJ / drunken people dancing.

The DJ was a childhood friend of mine that I used to breakdance with, simply was only spinning top 40 stuff to keep the energy high. Permit me introduce the star of this story: permit'southward call him Paul. Paul is the guy y'all see at every bar / dance club that dances horrendously, but for some reason or another, thinks his dancing is amazing. Paul likewise happens to exist on overly machismo douche. If at any bespeak in the dark whatsoever girl started cheering for some other guy's dancing, Paul would magically appear and try to accept a danceoff… usually ending in the other guy stepping out of the room to escape the pelvic thrust taunts.

(–couple hours later on–)

My DJ friend and I decide to spin some old-school hip-hop that nosotros could breakdance to; the crowd starts to become into information technology, and a circumvolve forms. I step in to take a plough in the circle, and nigh 30 seconds in, I see Paul at the edge of the circle looking like a domestic dog on a ternion, waiting to interruption into the circumvolve and show everyone who'southward boss. I finish my thing and go to the edge just in time to see that Paul had cleared himself a runway into the circle.

And now.. the magic: Paul takes a running showtime towards the circle, and does a frontflip equally he enters. He had had a bit much to drink, and underestimated how it would bear upon his power to stick his landing; rather than landing on his anxiety, he over-rotated before un-tucking. The combination of his frontwards momentum from the running offset, and the centripetal strength of his flip made him transition straight into the worm, then his legs curled backwards up over his head (his trunk in the shape of a C) every bit he skid beyond the carpeted floor on his brow.

I spit out my drink and laughed like a little girl, as did pretty much everyone else in the room. I seriously have never laughed that hard in my life; I cried so hard it gave me a headache.

Later on in the night I overheard him hitting on some random girl at the party. The girl notices the rugburn all over his brow and face up, and asks what was incorrect with his face. The simply words that get out of his mouth were "We were having a trip the light fantastic circle, and I…" earlier the girl cracks up and says "Yous WERE THE FRONTFLIP GUY!". She couldn't stop laughing, and he walks away in shame. I afterward found out that he had to go to the hospital for a concussion – I say it was worth it.

sixteen. thekadar81

In higher in that location was this crazy preacher that would always be out in the commons going on nigh how we were all going to Hell for living abroad from our families and how all the professors were homosexuals. One twenty-four hours I walk through the commons and the preacher is shouting hellfire and brimstone similar usual, but at that place is a guy in a clown suit (named, I swear to fucking god, Superman Prophets the 3rd). The guy in the clown adjust has a boombox blasting Marilyn Manson and he is dancing around the preacher. At the same time, a goth girl from the Wiccan social club is cartoon a pentagram effectually the preacher and chanting. It was a hell of a show.

17. Brophages

We have this group of religious zealots that comes downtown every twelvemonth during a week long music festival, and they merely stand outside protesting out of moral outrage. Most people avoid them, only i yr, nosotros rolled up backside this one motorcar and saw the woman in the passenger seat merely screaming at them. She was clearly drunk, and everyone in the oversupply and whoever was driving were looking uncomfortable, but the light was red and traffic was so bad that the driver couldn't pull away.

She keeps saying she'south a "Good Christian woman" and doesn't hold with taking it to their extreme, when ane of them says something I couldn't hear. She in plough yells at the peak of her lungs "I LOVE JESUS YOU SON OF A Bowwow". The lite inverse and they rolled off about and then, but oh man.

18. Vanderwoolf

Every wintertime I go on a ski trip up n with My friend'due south family. One yr on the drive up we drove into a whiteout blizzard while on the highway. Traffic went from 70mph to a near standstill in a few hundred feet. We were in the center of the 3 lanes and backside and to the left of u.s.a. a huge Suburban came hurtling downwards the road, the driver clearly non paying attention. He notices the traffic stopping at the last second and in club to avoid slamming into the auto ahead of him th guy has to swerve right, across our lane in forepart of u.s.a., through the far right lane and off the route.

He drives off the road, downward the ditch and up the embankment in the other side. Then it got better.

He made it to the top of the beach so turned dorsum down. Drove dorsum through the ditch, back up the shoulder and outburst through a snowbank back onto the route. He cut back beyond all 3 lanes of traffic and into the spot he left from.

When nosotros passed by the machine, his wife was bawling in the passenger's seat while he was laughing hysterically.

nineteen. Sebring_the_Second

I was waiting for the omnibus and a couple were arguing extremely loudly then the daughter screamed "NO ANAL FOR You lot This evening!!!!!!" before storming off. I almost died laughing. The best part is she sounded furious and was totally serious.

20. Toby_O_Notoby

I'g walking downwards the street in my urban center and these two guys are walking towards me, laughing their asses off. I mean doubled over, tin can't walk direct about to pee themselves hysterics. Guy #1 reaches over and taps his friend on the shoulder. Guy #2 looks over and Guy #ane signs something in ASL. This sends Guy #ii off into hysterics again, like when you're laughing then difficult you almost feel high.

I stop dead in my tracks as these two get close and watch them walk by laughing their asses off, neither of them making a audio.

21. nakedbootleg

A bar fight betwixt a grouping of deaf guys. Hands down, the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life.

22. PICKLED_KITTENS

I recall I saw a fatty chick fight order once. I live in a pretty pocket-sized town and we have a local grocery shop. I was driving domicile one night almost 11 and passed by said grocery shop and noticed a bunch of the local country hicks had their trucks in a semi-circle with the headlights on and in the headlights were these two very obese women just going at information technology. Like habiliment ripped and just beating each other. It was the strangest thing.

23. beyondtheridge

A man was "walking" down the sidewalk like a chicken, strutting and flapping his bent arms. I ducked behind a edifice to avert interacting and waited a while until I figured he was on his style. When I peaked around the corner of the edifice to make certain he was gone, there he was posed on one leg with 1 of his "wings" behind his head and the other tucked under his armpit. I really went the other mode so. It was a public enough setting that I wasn't in danger. I wonder at present why he wasn't making clucking sounds.

24. LookSuspicious

I was walking into Rite Assist to purchase batteries. As I walk in a homeless man slinks in behind me. We both walk to the correct and he turns in the snack alley. The batteries were perpendicular to the snacks. Of a sudden I hear multiple footsteps behind me jogging to where this homeless human being is. I plow around and see the homeless man now shirtless ripping numberless of peanuts and throwing them in the air and two store employees trying to subdue him. As they finally struggle to pivot him downwardly he begins to yell, " I REGRET NOTHING." Simply repeatingly yelling it as he is dragged out of the store…

25. SiddharthGrover

A man was fighting with another human cause his burger had cucumber.

26. Failedhail

Our neighbors back at my sometime house were deaf and mute. Not to mention, they weren't good people; they turned their property into a behemothic junkyard filled with pot and abused animals.

Just they did the funniest fucking thing ane day.

I day while they're gone, a man in a truck comes up with a hay bale. He walks into their driveway a bit, got a disgusted look on his face up, and then set the hay bale in the drive way.

A few hours later, our deaf neighbors come home, and they see the hay bale. They all wait at each other really dislocated, and so all at once, they look down the road. So, all at once, they all look up the road.

Then, all at once, they all await straight upwards into the fucking heaven.

27. rareearthdoped

I was in India at this time and dorsum in my school, students living in the hostel (dorms) used to have the breakfast from the bottle during the winters, and eat exterior on a sunny solar day on set fixed chairs and tables.

Most of us used to throw the yellow function of the boiled eggs on the ground, leaving a competition between monkeys, (stray) dogs and crows to grab those.

Normally dogs use to boss in this fight. And of course monkeys were badly pissed at this.

One day, me with three of my friends was having breakfast and saw a group of six-7 monkeys surrounding a sleeping canis familiaris. 1 monkey pushes the dog, and every bit soon as canis familiaris takes his caput up, all the monkeys slap him one past ane, taking 2-three rounds. Earlier the dog could realized what happened, all monkeys were gone and the expression on the dog was like what the hell just happened. Whenever I remember of that, even so make me chuckle.

28. ajoker40

During a bar fight i saw one guy jump off a table and attempt a spinning roundhouse boot, only to miss by 4 feet and then become hit in the face by a plastic trashcan past his opponent. He was and so escorted out by the bouncer while the entire bar laughed at him.

29. [deleted]

When I was in seventh grade eating lunch at the deli, some eighth form guy was picking on this tranquility kid. The quiet kid got fed upward and in one fluid movement jumped on the top of a table so jumped off it and roundhouse kicked this kid right in the face. It was glorious.

xxx. Tylerss24

My friend recently witnessed a guy walk into a McDonald's, slam his cheeseburger on the counter, and keep to scream at the cashier near finding a hair in it. After rambling for about 3 minutes, my friend confronts him.

"Hey man, information technology'south not her mistake. I call back you lot should go."

The human being yells "This is between ME, and McDONALD'S, human being! I'grand done with McDonald's! Washed! You people are disgusting! You know what I recollect of McDonald'southward?!"

He and so unwraps his burger, and starts punching it with both fists, rapid fire, ketchup and mustard splattering all over the counter. Then, he fixed his tie, and calmly walked out.

31. [deleted]

My uncle's ranch, in rural Shasta Canton- lots of dogs and cats but the alpha critter was our cat Mercedes, a calico Manx with a regal bearing. Stub tailed with tufts of pilus growing out of her ears, she was difficult every bit a walnut and was a killing machine. She'd take hold of and eat large squirrels, chew em up caput first with loud crunching noises. She was queen of the ranch and she knew it, she'd sit around squinting at everything and everyone like they were insects. I time my uncle brought home a new girlfriend and Mercedes promptly ran up to the poor lady and bit her toe and then difficult information technology spurted blood.

Then one fine day, we're upward at the landing by the pole barn working on the skidder and a friend of my uncle's who had never been to the ranch pulls up in a truck with a pit bull in the back, and the canis familiaris spies Mercedes sitting there in the middle of the landing, she's not moving and is just pulling her usual squint of disdain. The domestic dog is revved upwards, starts spinning circles in the back of the truck. Mercedes just blinks a few times and sits rock however. New guy says, "sad about my domestic dog, he likes to get afterward cats."
My uncle laughs, says, "sad nigh your dog if he gets after THAT cat."

Guy has a look of incredulity, it'southward plain he'southward thinking, "bullshit."

Uncle laughs again, says turn him loose! Dog is spraying spittle out of his oral fissure, prepare to eat that cat. Mercedes hasn't moved, still squinting like she had zero fucks to requite. Guy says, "ok…" and and then snaps his fingers and that canis familiaris burns safety over the side of the truck and heads full speed for the cat.

Mercedes didn't move until the last instant, and and so she springs direct into the air and comes downward on that domestic dog'southward confront like some kind of evil beast, she's only roosting this poor canis familiaris's confront like a chainsaw. I've never heard such blood curdling shrieks from a domestic dog. The cat jumps off the dog and the domestic dog went total speed under the befouled, yelping to shell the band. it took the possessor a half hour to talk the dog out from under the decking, and its poor face was shredded. Mercedes just went back to sitting there squinting at everyone.

32. Downhillrunner

I could've sworn I was on 1 of those hidden camera shows once. I went to the Social Security part to legally alter my name afterward I got married. The guy next to me on the lift practically ran to grab a number earlier I got there. I go in and sit down and mr in-a-bustle sits next to me and tells me how he bought a suit at Jos A Bank for a job interview in Vegas and someone stole them and his wallet with all his money and credit cards. He happened to see i of his suits on some guy on the street and decided that he should go beat the guy up (obviously!). The cops showed up and arrested him. Tin yous believe that! The guy with his suit and wallet got off scott free and now he is in jail overnight and he has to sleep on the dirty flooring!

I nod, politely like "yes, that happens to all of united states." I am rescued by the good looking business man sitting adjacent to me. He is there with his sis. Trying to make small talk, I inquire him if he'due south there on his lunch break, every bit he appears to have just come up from piece of work. "No," he says "I haven't been able to work for a year. They say I have issues, merely they're wrong. They mad me go to a place for a while, simply they're merely trying to steal my ideas." Huh… "I write sometimes, only I know someone wants to steal what I write, so I burn down it all. You Take to burn it all."

The conversation continues similar this for ten minutes until schizophrenic business man stands up, looks around suspiciously, mumbles something, and walks abroad. Suit Man looks at me similar "Can you believe these people?!?!

33. mauxly

On my showtime ever business organization trip to San Francisco, I go off BART downtown and a fairly bonny man in a business organization suit walks upwardly to me and says, "You look like you are new to boondocks, merely I can tell you similar jazz, do y'all want to go to an exclusive private jazz club?"

I took him upwards on information technology. I mean, why not?

When we got to the club, the woman at the door gave him a sneer, which I idea was odd, simply she let us in.

We sat down and the waitress kind of rolled her optics. She asked us what we wanted to potable. He ordered a Long Isle, I can't remember what I ordered.

When she was gone, I looked downwards and noticed that he was wearing some really trashed out fucked up sneakers with his business conform. I idea, "Oh…this is gonna get weird."

I was right.

When the drinks came, he informed me that he must have misplaced his wallet. And then I had to pay. No big deal, even though his Long Island was actually expensive, simply all the same, just money, any.

Then he tells me that he has to stay in buildings considering the CIA is tracking him remotely, that they desire to impale him. The reason that they want him dead is that he used to work for the CIA as a paranormal investigator, that he tin can read minds from long distances etc..

I feel bad for him. He's plain mentally ill, and then I merely kind of go along. But he say'southward "You don't believe me, I can tell! Hither I have proof. Here's my CIA identification card."

And he pulls out his 'lost wallet' and proceeds to show me a piece of notebook paper with random shit scribbled on it. Well, OK then. I finished my potable, thanked him for the great opportunity (even though in that location was no Jazz, and the exclusive club was merely an expensive bar), and his candor. I wish him well and become the hell out of there. Thing is, other than scoring pure MDMA subsequently that night and having a fairly shocked Danish tourists take a motion-picture show of me topless with a sculpture of a photographer, that's my favorite retentivity of the trip.

34. DV8_2XL

Sitting outside a Home Depot, waiting for a friend to return something inside, I was joined by an older gentleman who started making small conversation. He was wearing former blue jeans and a carmine plaid shirt, lumberjack style and didn't actually give him too much attention as he started talking about stocks and solar day trading and about how much coin he dealt with everyday… right upwards until I noticed his rather expensive Gucci leather shoes.

35. cranberryandvodka

I retrieve seeing two guys dressed in diapers and bonnets strolling past me subsequently a 12 hr shift was ane of the weirdest things I've ever witnessed.

36. alionheartedgirl

I saw a full nuptials taking place inside a Borders book store. They even invited customers who happened to be in the store to attend.

37. kycube

My mom caught 2 x twelvemonth olds taking turns peeing into each others' mouths behind a pine tree in our back 1000.

38. thilardiel

Ane time I showed anybody how the Nuva Ring worked at a party….

39. Stephanie1290

I was driving my friend to dinner i night a few years ago. We were singing in the auto with the windows down, loving life. The car in forepart of united states of america had two dogs hanging out of its windows which reminded my friend of the fourth dimension her canis familiaris jumped out of the car at a squirrel. We laugh considering her dog is a Long-Haired Dachshund on steroids, which means its bigger, but however has the same brusque, chubby legs.

All of a fucking sudden we run into something autumn out of the machine in front of the states and curlicue across the street. My friend SCREAMS at me to pull over and lo and behold it is ane of the dogs. I swerve to the sidewalk where the canis familiaris is trotting around similar a nervous dog who had fallen out of a car.

My friend jumps out of my car and grabs information technology by the collar and tries to at-home it down. I await upwards to see where the dog's auto is and I see it DRIVING THE FUCK AWAY.

I start swearing like a sailor. My friend wraps the canis familiaris in my favorite blanket from my torso and puts it in my car. It'south bleeding everywhere and I am however swearing.

After TEN MINUTES of calming this canis familiaris and trying to figure out what to do, we see a automobile slowly making its way back on the other side of the street. I flail my arms like a girl who just saw a dog autumn out of a car at total speed and the motorcar pulls over. It starts to rain every bit the adult female sobs in gratitude. "I was picking up my son from exercise. He got in the auto and asked where the other dog was and I didn't know." She takes the dog. I tell her to roll up her windows. I did my good deed for the next 10 years.

40. ElSnaibs

So it's 1996, and I'm in Pamplona, Spain for the Festival of San Fermin, the Running of the Bulls. I should also mention it was totally a freak gamble that myself and 2 friends were in Europe at the time, and never intended to go to the Running in the first identify. But when we were in Paris, we heard information technology was happening right then, and so we hopped on an overnight train and were there the next day. Hooray for non having set plans!

To set the stage a little, people from all over Europe and the balance of the world go to Pamplona for this matter. There are literally a crap ton of people everywhere you lot go, often sleeping in doorways, parks, sidewalks and wherever they tin find a spot. We were lucky enough to discover infinite at an apt where we could crash for cheap, so no sleeping in the park for united states of america. During the festival, the actual run with the bulls is at something crazy similar 8:00 in the morning, which seems ridiculous due to all the partying, crazy people, but the thing is, about are still upward, they aren't waking up early on. You sleep after the run.

Also, parades. Lots of parades. As we did not speak fluent Spanish and did not know the awesome songs people sang in parades, we spent a decent amount of time watching them and walking in them, and we soon arrived at a startling determination. Y'all only needed 3 basic things to get-go a parade. 1) Some sort of banner or flag. 2) Some blazon of musical musical instrument, like a drum, triangle, tambourine, whatever. 3) Drunk people. Lots and lots of drunkard people.

The good news was, drunk people were plentiful, I had a manus carved drum I got from a guy in Nigeria, and on the 2d day, we found this big banner blazon thing leaning against a dumpster, in perfect status. We gear up about trying to showtime our own parade, complete with me on a drum, my 2 friends property each end of the banner, and we set out to rope in drunk people. I should remind you, we had no idea what the banner said. We may accept been marching to cure babyhood diabetes, or letting everyone know we were vegetarians and thought they should hug bulls instead of run them. No idea.

We find a open up foursquare surface area that seems to take a loftier concentration of drunkard folks, we unfurl the mystery banner, and I start playing my picayune pulsate as we walk through the oversupply. In no less than iii minutes, at that place are approximately forty-50 people crowded behind us who have erupted into some song that we did not under stand up. Nosotros kept on walking every bit they belted out their melody, picking up more and more people forth the fashion, and by the fourth dimension the song was done, we had at to the lowest degree 150 people in our mystery parade.

Everyone cheered and hollered, handed us a bunch of gratis bottles of Sangria, and so dispersed back to whence they came. To this day I have no idea what our parade was well-nigh, what the drunk people in the parade were singing about, or why some people gave us free Sangria, but I practice know that it was really, really crawly.

41. moncrey

in Boston, mid day in the summer in a crowded area, a rather big woman was mounted on top of a slightly less large man who was lying downwards on the ground face. His pants were effectually his ankles. They were belligerently yelling at each other to no end. I was there when a couple police force arrived and basically had no idea how to arroyo the situation. It was funny as hell.

42. b14Moult

Me and my brother were sitting on a bench waiting for the subway in Boston. Then, out of nowhere, the little old Asian lady sitting next to us ripped one of the loudest fucking blasts from the ass trumpet that I have ever heard.

43. barristonsmellme

Halloween weekend a few years ago and i'm on my way to the bar with a few friends when we hear a LOT of shouting. A group of scallys (Yobs, Chavs, poor british thugs) are trying to start something with a guy dressed as spiderman outside a chippy. All we can brand out is that they call up he should grow up and they would like to physically make him agree (although less eloquently, they are after all, simpletonts.)

And then the guy dressed as spiderman drops his fries showing no sign of existence upset past the ordeal and puts his fists up. Equally he does this, near x unlike guys dressed as comic volume characters bound out of the chippy and strike outlandish poses, ready to fight and the scallys fucking shit themselves. It's like ane role of them doesn't know how to procedure what'south going on, and the other office is screaming "Run!". I mean, what would y'all practise if you ended up in an accidental face off against xi superheroes?

Laughs were had by all only the meanies.

44. Maxwyfe

My husband and I were in a mall in the DC area in the early 90s. At that fourth dimension, Mary Lou Retton was hyping Tyson craven products most the Mall food court. We took a look – "Oh, hey, that's Mary Lou Retton" and walked past.

Out of a service door comes a man in a pretty shitty looking chicken costume existence led by a girl in necktie dye and dreadlocks. Sensing ballsy misfortune about to unfold, I grab my husband and we follow them back to the food court. Sure enough, the craven throws a h2o balloon or something filled with red liquid resembling (might take actually been) blood at Mary Lou Retton and her crew as they are frying upwards delicious Tyson chicken in front end of a oversupply of soccer moms and their kids. The girl shouts something almost Tyson being serial murderers and in an instant the chicken is underneath a big security baby-sit.

As they are leading the chicken away, his girlfriend is shouting "Don't hurt him! Stop choking the craven!"

45. MRelCanijillo

Almost ten years ago I was with some friends on the Barcelona subway. I must have been belatedly considering the station was empty except for a grouping of three girls on the other side, and a drunk guy on the same side every bit we are.

Out of the blue this guy starts shouting to the girls (They kinda looked like prostitutes), and they are shouting back at him. So apparently he does not like what he'southward hearing so jumps downwardly to become across the tracks, only to be met by the now shoe-in-hand group of girls. Before he can get up and avert the very dangerous position he was in (the tracks) he got pounded in the head several times.

He finally fought his way upwardly, but our train arrived and nosotros couldn't see the ending.

Pretty intense

46. Grocery-Storr

A few years ago while visiting Washington DC, I saw a guy walk up to another human being with a haversack. He pulled a bottle of Febreeze out and sprayed it. The other man took a deep sniff and handed him a fatty roll of cash and received a few more bottles of Febreeze. Pretty sure I witnessed some crazy drug deal.

47. russmail

About twenty years ago a friend gave me a Panasonic cordless phone that got screwed up from water damage, thinking that I could fix since I was a handy guy.

I took information technology domicile and sat on it for a few months before giving it a gander on a Sat afternoon. Turns out the handheld in the base-station had been on a window sill during a rainstorm, and after swell information technology open up, cleaning off a few things, and replacing the handheld bombardment, I put it back together and hoped for the best.

That evening I was about to walk out the door for dinner, when I picked up handheld to see if the new battery would have a charge (note the base-station wasn't plugged into telephone jack notwithstanding). Now retrieve how I said twenty years ago? Back and then cordless phone tech was shit… best at the time had 'ii channel radio' etc.

Just as I turned on the handheld, I intercepted into the middle of a heated argument between 2 immature gangster-type latino men, mostly in english:

One was very distraught considering he establish out his gal had been cheating on him. He was touting how he was going to clobber the other guy then ruin her life, etc. The other turned out to exist his older brother, who was trying to calm him down but past telling him he was behaving immaturely … he clearly was concerned, he wanted to forestall him from doing anything foolish.

Standing there about to go out the door, I initially thought to myself 'cool, I stock-still information technology' and was about to turn off the telephone. Mildly entertaining, sure. I wasn't that intrigued about someone else'southward strife.

But and so, the conversation got real: The older brother began to get philosophical, saying how life wasn't simple but tough, how at that place are times when you just have to get through the horrible things that come your style. He so shared with his younger brother his personal example, in how their childhood priest had molested him. The younger blood brother then says, 'man I hear what you're saying, and for me it's non so uncomplicated either – because he molested me too!'

I was shocked, or rather my curiosity invigorated. Both brothers began to console each other, realizing their new shared plight… Then, I spoke. Simply let me add together here, that at the time I was pursuing a failing side job in the voiceover biz in NY. I did a few commercials, I have a pretty depression voice, baritone. You run across where this is going at present.

I spoke, in my all-time Morgan Freeman, very slowly, "My dearest boys. Good evening."

They both stopped and started asking, 'who'due south this, who'due south on the telephone?' as if someone paw picked upwardly in their house somewhere.

"Boys, this is the Lord. I'm so sorry, I'm so pitiful y'all've been struggling in your lives."

They and so went into 'look, who? God? Is information technology really yous?' etc.

"Yes my boys. It's me. I need to tell you lot, that I'm very glad you're meeting under such difficult times."

Silence. Then, the older blood brother started saying things like, 'information technology's actually hard God, but we have each other' etc.

"Boys, please retrieve I love you. And be sure to ever love one another."

The brothers then went in saying 'yes, we have each other. you're right God, we have each other' etc.

"Now, get. Become be in peace."
The younger brother then told the other he was coming over to come across him and hung upward.

In retrospect, I really wish I had said something ridiculous at the terminate like, "Boys, here's what I want you to exercise: become back to the church and smack that son-of-a-bitch for me" but I was then startled simply by walking into that call.

48. travisestes

During Halloween i year I decided to hitting upwardly Mill Ave in Tempe (a strip of shops, bars and clubs correct side by side to ASU). There was this church group at that place reenacting the crucifixion of Jesus, and generally calling out for people to apologize and condemning the "heathen vacation of hollows eve"

This group was actually into this, they had props with fake blood, roman soldiers, a huge cross with a guy dressed equally Jesus hanging from information technology; the works.

What was and then funny was this. There was this guy dressed as the devil standing in front of them with a clipboard. On the clipboard was contracts for your soul. He was buying them for $5. He had a line of people selling him their souls.

The church building group was in complete shock. I mean, they looked on the verge of tears every fourth dimension someone signed the contract. They were begging and pleading with people to not do it. I stood and watched this for almost an hour. It was absolutely priceless.

That dude dressed equally the devil was the greatest troll I take ever witnessed.

49. valhalladclxvi

This crazy affair happened to me when I was in Japan. I was at an net buffet, and every bit I was going to my seat, being the nosy guy that I am, I was peaking into the other people'south stalls to see what they were browsing. Anyways, the stall correct beside me, I just barely glanced at, and I didn't see the screen, but I noticed some move. As I sat downwardly in my own stall, my curiosity began to abound. So, I decided to go casually go a magazine from the stand and accept a 2d expect. Equally I was walking back with my magazine, I looked into the booth beside me and saw a 20ish yr quondam girl watching lesbian porn, with her legs open spread eagle masturbating as furiously as humanly possible. Classic Japan moment!

50. maximus32

Information technology wasn't quite in public, but I was witness to an outlandish issue in a dorm room my freshman year of college. Really, it wasn't quite outlandish either. I would probably describe it every bit horrific–because I was in fact horrified–just I digress…
So it was early on a Friday nighttime and similar good college students, my buddies and I we were all standing around in a cramped dorm room pre-partying. A.chiliad.a. standing around drinking Natty Ice and taking shots of whatever cheap 100-proof liquor the hobo who bought for united states of america managed to grab. Anyway, I know it'due south early on (prob 8ish) considering none of united states were fifty-fifty remotely boozer when we heard a loud banging on the door. Boom Blast BOOM

Now, mind you, none of u.s.a. are of legal drinking age so this gestapo-manner knock makes united states of america all freeze, all in unison mouthing "fuck," because naturally we call up it's an RA. As we begin scrambling to hide all the bottles and cans, quietly I'm sure, the guy nearest the door slowly leans over and peers through the peephole. In frozen horror, we watch the back of Door Guy's head waiting for a reaction/signal. After only a brief moment, he guffaws, backs upward, and begins to pull the door open. With the door barely cracked, it gets shoved into Door Guy and in stumbles arguably one of the hottest girls in our dorm building. The rest of us, not really certain what to practise and nonetheless decompressing from our fearfulness, just stand there, I'thousand sure with open mouths. Note: none of us were friends with her, only met her through others, etc.

So Hot Daughter comes t-rex'ing in like a boss, drunkenly trying to get past Door Guy into the room. Meanwhile, poor Door Guy, who is a big dude, is laboring to let her by without falling over. Equally she's drunkenly trying to clasp by, she grabs a handful of clothes hanging in the cupboard next to the door, breaking the closet rod and essentially pulling downward the unabridged closet storage structure thingy.

With the entire closet spewed all over the floor, Hot Girl lurches past me and grabs a piddling garbage bin, dumping it out and setting information technology back down right in the middle of all of u.s.a. guys, still unmoving, still open-mouthed, still staring at this drunken rage monster.

Here's where the horrifying part begins. Without hesitating for a moment, Hot Daughter pulls down her jeans and squats on the bin. Now, at this indicate, we all begin dying of laughter–possibly the hardest I've always laughed–and being similar "Bahaha!! WTF are you doooing?!? Yous're pissing in the garbage!!!" Hot Daughter is unconvinced, looking angry and bellyaching as she begins drunkenly screeching at usa to quit being perverts and to quit watching her. This scene goes on for maybe thirty seconds. Meanwhile I have really fallen to my knees, laughing so difficult my eyes are watering. Information technology was in that teary-eyed moment when I first recollect hearing a certain sound just a few feet to the left of my caput, a audio which I tin even so clearly recall to this mean solar day. It was the sound of a muffled, depression pitched car gun. blup blup blup blup Hot Daughter has begun to shit in the garbage bin.

Obviously mortified, we all immediately bound back and resume our open-mouthed gaping. The blup blups trail off into some nasty getting-every-last-scrap-out fart/shitting noises (retrieve Harry in Dumb and Dumber), followed by her finally finishing and a deep-space, cricket-chirping silence.

In probably the most miraculous drunk-to-sober turnaround I've always seen, Hot Daughter, without saying anything, and without wiping, slowly stands up, pulls up her pants and calmly walks out of the room, leaving us all in utter shock.

The Finish. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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